Mystery Pokemon theatre - 1
by Fionacat
Summary: MISTing of Master Meowth by the author, self parodying is the best...


Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000   
  
Episode 1  
  
In the not-too-distant future, in a generic kinda place,  
Two evil folks named Jessie and James with Meowth where up to no good japes;  
They snuck up on the home of Ash   
Ash: "Pokemon master!"   
Misty: Stage whisper "in training!!"  
The Ketchum house was such a peaceful place  
'Til they strapped some rockets to it, and shot it into spaaace!  
  
(Wheeee!)  
  
"We'll send them cheesy postings, the worst we can find." (la la la)  
"They'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor  
their minds." (la la la)  
Keep in mind, that nobody can control where the postings begin or end  
But they lost their sanity long ago, so don't worry about them, friends!  
  
Roll call:  
Ash! (All right!)  
Misty! (Get real!)  
Brock! (Whatever)  
Pikachuuuuuuuu! (Pika!)  
  
If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science facts,  
(la la la)  
Repeat to yourself, "It's a CARTOON-- I should really just relax  
For Mystery Pokemon Theater 3000."  
  
...o...2...3...4...5...6...PIKA!  
  
[Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu and Togepi sit dejectedly around the television.]  
  
Ash: Welcome back to MPT3k...  
  
Pikachu: Pika.  
  
Misty: Well now here we are stuck in a low Earth orbit destined to watch cheesey fanfics  
from Team Rocket.  
  
Brock: Personally I'm just here for the money.  
  
Television (Female voice): Prepare for trouble on your television!  
  
Television (Male voice): Make it double for your reception!!  
  
Television (Cat male voice): They know the rest...  
  
Jessie: Yes, we will need to come up with a new motto, otherwise this will get boring  
really fast.  
  
Misty: Really?! I would have never guessed.  
  
James: She's mocking us again!  
  
Meowth: Let her!  
  
Jessie: Yes, let her, after all we have control now.  
  
Ash: Oh dear...  
  
James: Let the torture begin!!  
  
Togepi: Togeprrrrri!!  
  
Jessie: Like, whatever. This delight is "Master Meowth" written by Runt.  
  
(Flashing lights, siren noise, you know the drill.)  
  
ALL: WE GOT A FANFIC! AIEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!  
  
PIKA!...6...5...4...3...2...o...  
  
--------------49934A5D602B  
  
Ash: It was a year of great annoyance  
Misty: A year of great spam  
Brock: A year of pointlessness  
Pikachu: Pika pika pikapi  
Ash: It was the year 49934  
Brock: The place was A5D602B!!  
  
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii  
  
Ash: Very plain, very very plain, in fact boring.  
  
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit  
  
Brock: I have less then no idea what that means.  
  
Master Meowth  
  
Ash: I'm filled with an unerving sense of dread all ready  
Misty: That's just oxygen depravation sinking in...  
Ash: Oh right.  
  
===============================================================================================  
  
This document is Copyright (C) 2000 Runt(fionacat@hotmail.com). All rights reserved.  
  
Brock: Fine then, just ignore the lefts.  
  
  
No profit on the part of the author is made from this document, and this document is used  
only for entertainment purposes. If there is any legal problems with this document,  
please contact the author to make arrangements to amend these legal difficulties.  
  
Brock: Vitagraph! You know that name, just not what we do.  
Misty: Yes Vitagraph!!  
  
Pikachu, Meowth, Brock, Ash, Misty, Jesse, James, Gary and all other related PokÚmon characters  
or items are (C) and TM to Nintendo and Game Freaks.  
  
Ash: So there!!  
Misty: Hey what about the guy that created us in his short story?  
Ash: Satsohri Taijiri?  
Misty: Yeah him!  
Brock: Nintendo own him I think.  
  
This work may be freely distributed in any media as long as no money is charged for the   
document itself. It may be included on any archive collection under the same terms.  
  
Ash: So start working on those Binary strings of Fanfics now!  
  
===============================================================================================  
  
Brock: Pat, I'd like to buy a sentence please.  
Ash: I doubt it would help.  
  
Ash Ketchum fiddled with his flimsy jacket trying to deflect the pelting rain off himself  
  
Misty: Check please!! Table one, we'll be leaving now.  
Ash: Hey now, this is no time for Double Entenrede's we could be here for years.  
  
and his favourite Pokemon, Pikachu. The biting rain   
  
Misty: (With sharp pointy teeth) rainrainrainrainrainrainrain  
  
had been predicted for a few hours but  
Ash had insited that himself and his two friends, Misty and Brock reach Pallet Town as he   
was anxious to return home to see Professor Oak and some more of his Pokemon friends, but  
mainly he wanted to return home and see his mom.  
  
Ash: This is just plain embarassing...  
  
"Ash!" Misty yelled out into the thundering downpour, "You'll get soaked out there!"  
  
Misty: Yeah!! Like I care! Get wet, die of hypothermia!  
Ash: Um, no.  
  
Ash looked around and saw Misty and Brock sheltering under Misty's Staryu.  
  
Ash: Check please!  
Brock: How on earth can you imagine anything perverted in that?  
Ash: I have a warped mind, it's the lack of oxygen.  
Misty: Riiiiighhhht.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me earlier..." Ash pouted as he crawled under the Staryu for some shelter,  
"I'm soaked to the bone now."  
  
Brock: Must be Acid rain.  
  
"Serves you right for dragging us out here," Misty said chastising Ash, "We could be nice and   
warm in Viridan City but you just had to get home."  
"Now Misty." Brock interceeded, "Ash was just wanting to go home and see his mom, I often  
have wanted to return home and make sure my brothers and sisters are all fine."  
  
Brock: I have?  
  
Misty hung her head slightly in shame, "I'm sorry Ash, but even if I am a Water Pokemon trainer  
even I don't like being cold and wet."  
  
Misty: Well duh, nobody likes being cold and wet. Cold yes, Wet yes but cold AND wet?!  
  
Meowth angrilly kicked the ground sending up a small pile of dust which was quickly obliterated  
as large raindrops suddenly tumbled from the sky.  
  
Ash: Well there goes the continuity...  
  
"Just great, now it's raining too." Meowth cursed.  
  
Brock: That is incredible observational powers.  
  
"Quiet Meowth." James warned the scratch cat.  
  
Misty: (Stiffingly a giggle) Scratch Cat....  
  
"Yes Meowth, it's your fault that we failed to capture Pikachu again." Jesse continued.  
  
Ash: Of course it is...  
Pikachu: Pika!  
Ash: Nonono! I was implying that ALL of Team Rocket are inept.  
Misty: Well except for Giovanni  
Ash: Of course, Giovanni is in a class of his own.  
  
"My fault?!" Meowth exclaimed, "And who was it that said "Yes Meowth that plan is perfect!" then  
huh?" Meowth concluded copying Jesse.  
  
Brock: Well I would assume it was Jessie then.  
Misty: Hey! You noticed that too, why is that?  
Brock: Well it's a very common mistake, since the name is never written down and just said aloud it's quite hard to spell. For instance Togepi is sometimes spelt Togepy.  
Misty: Oooh, intresting...  
  
"Well it was, just somehow you manage to mess it up." Jesse said glaring at Meowth.  
"Right that's it." Meowth cried throwing his paws up in the air angrilly.  
  
Ash: Yay! We can go home!  
  
"Going to storm off again?" James asked smirking slightly.  
Meowth glared back at James.  
  
Ash, Misty, Brock: (Pull funny faces at the television)  
  
"No." Meowth eventually said, "I'm going to get that Pikachu without your help."  
  
Ash: Yes of course, that will work.  
Misty: Prehaps he'll only be a third as inept as usual?  
Brock: (Pauses a beat) Nah.  
  
Jesse and James laughed loudly at this.  
"Please be our guest, we'll be staying at the Viridan city hotel if you need us." James laughed.  
  
Ash: (As James) Or if you care!  
  
"I'll meet you there when I have Pikachu." Meowth exclaimed before running off towards  
Pewter City.  
  
Brock: Which is the wrong direction?  
Ash: Yes, so this should be over really quick.  
  
"You realise..." Jesse started, "If he manages by himself the boss will never forgive us."  
  
Misty: Like he would respect you if you caught every pokemon in the world.  
  
James snorted, "If he manages at all I'll be his cat for a week."  
  
Ash: Any particular reason?  
Brock: Plot I'd guess.  
  
"I'd like that in writing!" Meowth said suddenly appearing beside James.  
  
Misty: Hey, plot indeed.  
  
Ash smiled slightly as the rain started to subside slightly.  
  
Ash: Because of course, despite being soaked I don't want to get any wetter. Yes that would be silly. Despite the fact it is impossible to get wetter...  
  
"Awlright! Finally a break in the weather!" Ash said cheerfully.  
  
ALL: (Screech hand brake noise)  
Misty: Some break...  
  
Misty laughed a little, "You may as well sit down again." She instructed.  
"What's so funny?" Ash demanded  
  
Ash: Yeah!  
  
Suddenly the rain pelted back down again ripping leaves off from the trees nearby.  
  
Ash: Ooh, imagine that could have been me.  
Misty: We wish.  
  
"Because that was just the eye of the storm, it's only half way done." Misty said smiling  
knowingly at the dripping Ash.  
  
Ash: Righhhhhhht, so that would be a localised cyclonic weather pattern?  
Misty: Either that or a hurricane...  
  
  
"How am I gonna get that Pikachu?" Mewoth asked himself, mainly to distract his cold body  
from the driving rain.  
  
Misty: Well better that then....  
Ash: Don't.  
Misty: Awww.  
  
"I mean normally I just go by instincts and the answer is right in front of me." Mewoth  
  
Brock: Admitted, knowing truly that he had no skill of any kind.  
  
continued, "But I'm not going to be that lucky this time, I will have to come up with some  
form of plan."  
  
Misty: Step 1, capture Pikachu  
Pikachu: Pika!  
Misty: It's a plan, didn't say it was a good one....  
  
Flying head first into the mud Meowth hissed violently as he tripped over something in the  
  
Ash: Plot.  
  
road.  
Picking himself up carefully he checked what he had tripped on and was quite amused to find  
  
Ash: A gold bar  
Brock: Um, Pikachu  
Misty: A T-Rex!!  
  
a unconcious Pokemon trainer with a large branch beside it's head.  
  
Ash: Apparently he did trip over plot after all.  
  
"Then again..." Meowth purred grinning brightly. "Instincts and luck were always my forte."  
  
Misty: (Mocking Meowth) Instincts and luck were always my forte, (As herself) Rigggghhhhht.  
  
He smirked widly as he started to drag the unconcious trainer into the limited cover of the  
  
Ash: Don't.  
Misty+Brock: Awww....  
  
undergrowth.  
  
Brock yawned tiredly, "Will this rain not let up?" He asked looking out into the darkness.  
  
Brock: No, It will rain for 40 days and 40 nights.  
Ash: Really?  
Brock: Maybe, this is a fanfic after all.  
Misty: Don't give anyone ideas....  
  
"I know what we can do!" Misty exclaimed reaching into her backpack and taking out a   
  
Misty: Umbrella? Raincoat at least....  
  
clipbook.  
"Name the pokemon!" Misty yelled as she dragged Brock and Ash closer so  
  
Misty: Don't.  
Brock+Ash: Awwww!  
  
they could see the book.  
"I know all the pokemon there are!" Ash bragged, "I challenge you to show me one I don't."  
  
Misty: Right then, Pokemon Neo set, number 205.  
Ash: Errrrmmmm....  
Misty: What's wrong?  
Ash: From the basic American set then...  
Misty: Allright, German name for Psyduck then.  
Ash: Psykokwak?  
Misty: Hey you cheated!!  
Ash: And your point??  
  
Misty riffled through the book and stopped at a page.  
  
Misty: Page 100 probably...  
  
"That's easy!" Ash exclaimed, "That's a Voltorb!"  
  
Ash: Yeah, could be a pokeball in disguise, ya can never tell unless you see the smiley face.  
Brock: Or it explodes.  
  
Misty humphed a little, "I was just getting you warmed up. How about this one."  
Ash squinted slightly, "That's not a pokemon, it's just a smudge on the paper!" he complained.  
"Well it's a very rare pokemon, how are they supposed to draw it?" Misty retorted.  
  
Misty: So there!  
  
Ash thought long and hard before answering, "It's probably a Kabuto."  
"Hey you must have peeked!" Misty shouted, "There's no way you could know that!!"  
  
Misty: Except for being a complete fanboy.  
Ash: And darn proud of it!  
  
"You mean I'm right?!" Ash questioned triumphantly, "I was just guessing."  
  
Ash: No!! I wasn't really I wasn't!!  
  
"The rain is not as heavy as it was, if we run then we can make it to Pallet Town before it  
  
Brock: Get's too boring here?  
  
get's heavy again." Brock noted.  
"Right." Ash agreeed, "Eveybody ready?"  
  
Misty: If we said no would it matter?  
  
"Pika!" Pikachu enthuastically interjected.  
  
Pikachu: Pikapika!  
Ash: You tell 'em Pika.  
  
  
"Oh Master are you all right?" Meowth asked coyly as the pokemon trainer slowly regained  
conciousness.  
  
Ash: Paging continuity, will continuity please visit the information desk.  
  
With the dark clouds subsiding slightly Meowth could now see the trainer quite well, he  
was older then James but not by much. Fashion wise he was wearing fairly comfortable and  
loose clothes with a characteristic Pokemon symbol embriodered in many diffrent places.  
  
Ash: So a non-descript person really, with no way of telling they are a pokemon trainer.  
Brock: Exactly.  
Misty: What do folks without pokemon do?  
Ash: Very little, they are like real people in Role playing games, we run around beating up monsters earning cash, they stay at home nice and warm and apparently earn more then us.  
  
"Master?" The trainer asked with the confusion in his voice obious.  
  
Brock: Obviously wrong.  
  
"Why yes, can you not remeber? Did the bang on your head make you forget??" Meowth asked  
anxiously, "Do you not remeber Meowth??!"  
  
Ash: We wish we could forget.  
  
"Meowth?" The trainer said raising an eyebrow.  
  
Misty: Cool. I want to do that.  
  
"Why yes, I remeber you Master Meowth." The trainer said rubbing it's head slightly.  
"I apolgise sincerly Master if my injury has caused you any distress." The trainer finished.  
  
Brock: Saying, "It's time for bed."  
Ash: Obscure French/British animation refrence from the 1970's?  
Misty: The magic roundabout is not obscure, it's "cult"  
Ash: Eeeee, in 10 years time we'll be "cult"  
Brock: Nonono, we are cult just now, in 10 years time we will be popular.  
  
"Huh?" Meowth asked confused, "Oh why no. I'm just glad you are all right, after all can't  
  
Misty: Have much of a story without you.  
  
go traipsing around the country without my loyal servant can I." Meowth joked nevously.  
"Of course not Master, but I must admit I can not recall traipsing around anywhere, let alone  
the country. Does it hurt much to traipse?" The trainer asked very disorinated.  
  
Ash: Is your name Sam perchance?  
Brock: Sam and Meowth, they commit crime.  
Misty: Prehaps not.  
  
"Why no, say do you remeber your name?" Meowth asked.  
  
Ash: Not at all revealing that he was a fraud, no.  
  
"Yes Master Meowth, my name is what ever your whim decides I believe." The trainer replied.  
Meowth smiled, "Right then... ... Fee, We are going to get back at the one that did this  
to you."  
"Who might that be Master?" The trainer now known as Fee asked.  
  
Brock: The fanfic author, sic 'im boy!  
Ash: (As a dog) Grrrrrrrr  
Misty: (Laughs)  
Ash: Hey!  
Brock: The horses choice.  
  
"It's that Ash Ketchum kid and his Pikachu." Meowth replied, smiling and rubbing his paws  
  
Brock+Misty+Ash: Don't!  
Pikachu: Piiika....  
  
together happily.  
  
Darting from tree to tree; Ash, Misty and Brock managed to avoid most of the heavier rain but  
  
Ash: Shockingly could not dodge the raindrops themselves.  
  
were still some way out of Pallet Town when Brock spotted a small log cabin just beside  
  
Misty: A stupidly located 5 star luxury hotel??  
  
a large group of trees.  
"Isn't that where the weird Saumiri kid with the Metapod lived?" Misty asked.  
  
Ash: Well if it's not then this could be over real quick.  
  
"Yeah, but he's off so it's probably deserted just now." Ash replied.  
  
Misty: Your psychic powers are getting better Ash, I'd at least have to look in a window to see if it was empty.  
  
"Do you think he'd mind us resting in there until the rain falls off a little?" Misty asked  
  
Brock: I thought it was off mainly...  
Ash: Apparently not.  
  
looking around for Ash and Brock who were already running for the log cabin.  
  
Misty: You guys!  
  
  
Inside Ash took out a pokeball and threw it in the air, "Go Charmander!" Ash cried.  
  
Ash: Hey that means it's set sometimes during season 1, before Charmander evolves.  
Brock: Well duh.  
  
Charmander emerged from the pokeball with the familer "Char! Char!!" cry.  
  
Misty: If it was with a cry of "Pika Pika!" That would be intresting.  
Pikachu: Char!  
Ash: Pardon?!  
Pikachu: Only kidding.  
Ash: Shuddup, you can't talk.  
Pikachu: Oyp sorry.  
Ash: Right no pay for you this week, breach of contract.  
Pikachu: AGAIN!  
Misty+Brock: Allllllrighty then.  
Pikachu: Well hey, if i'm not getting paid might as well keep talking.  
Ash: Like I care.  
Misty: Having a lover's tiff again Ash?  
Ash: (Pulls an Anime face)  
  
"Charmander, Flame Thrower attack that fire!" Ash commanded.  
  
Misty: Yes! Oh wait, try flame thrower on the fire place instead.  
  
"Char!" Acknowledge the little fire pokemon as a surge of red hot flame hit the small fire  
  
Brock: Place. There is no fire.  
Pikachu: There is no spoon either.  
  
and it crackled into life.  
"Thanks Charmander." Ash said smiling and patting Charmander on the head gently.  
"Charrrr." Charmander replied before returning in a beam of red energy to it's pokeball.  
  
Ash: It purrrs, it breathes fire, its' the one and only living box of matches!  
  
The door to the log cabin swung open and Fee stood in the entranceway.  
  
Ash: Hi person we have never met yet is obviously some plot.  
  
Ash, Brock and Misty looked nervously at the strange trainer.  
"Hi..." Misty offered timidly.  
  
Misty: Well hey, i'm not going to scream at some newbie.  
Ash+Brock+Pikachu: (Glare at Misty)  
Misty: Well I don't, usually.  
  
"Prepare for my Master." Fee started to announce, "and you better move faster!"  
  
Ash: Why? What's going to happen?  
  
"To protect the world from tessalation, to unite all coins within our nation.  
  
Misty: Tessalation? You are going to stop patterns forming?  
Brock: If it's patterns like this fanfic, I won't say no.  
  
To denounce the evils of triangles and squares.  
To extend our reach to the moon above.  
  
Ash: That doesn't even rhyme!  
  
Master!  
Meowth!  
My master and soon to be yours, surrender now or i'll show you the door." Fee concluded.  
  
Ash: I can see it quite well from here. Thanks anyway.  
Misty: It's quite a nice door actually.  
  
"Master Meowth, that can't be right??!" Ash, Misty and Brock said in shock.  
  
Pikachu: Now in stereo surround sound.  
  
"Meowth! That is right!!" Meowth said suddenly appearing in front of Fee.  
"Hey you were right Fee, it was classy." Meowth smiled and strolled into the cabin.  
  
Brock: Read Classy as Crappy.  
  
"Why thank you Master, I'm glad you liked it." Fee replied clearing the way for Meowth.  
  
Misty: (As Meowth) Move it, out of the way, clear a path please!  
  
"What do you want Meowth and where's Jesse and James?" Ash asked.  
  
Brock: Yeah like we care.  
  
"You know what I want kid, the Pikachu. As for those two I don't need them." Meowth purred  
  
Pikachu: Purrrrrrrrrrr  
Ash: Pokemon, go fig.  
  
as Fee gently scratched Mewoth's back.  
"So how do you plan to capture Pikachu then?" Ash asked slightly confused.  
  
Ash: Yes please tell me so I can stop you.  
  
"Well Fee here will challenge you to a pokemon match, you win you get to keep one of his  
pokemon and Team Rocket don't bother you for a week. You lose and Pikachu is ours." Meowth smiled toothily at Ash.  
"I don't think so Meowth, why would I want to fight Fee?" Ash asked.  
  
Ash: Apart from the obvious plot shattering effect if I did not.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry to hear you won't be battling me young Master Ash. Master Meowth was right we  
should have asked young Master Gary instead." Fee replied.  
  
Brock: Yeah you should have, good bye now.  
  
"Gary?" Ash asked warily.  
  
Misty: Gary Oak, your rival since the dawn of time, has his own fan club.  
Brock: (Drools Slightly) Fan club....  
  
"Don't listen to him Ash, he's just trying to coax you into a battle." Brock warned.  
  
Brock+Misty+Pikachu: Coax Coax Coax Coax Coax Coax Coax.  
  
"Yes young Master Gary would at least be a challenge of my pokemon skills where as  
you will simply be a matter of telling my pokemon to attack." Fee said provoking Ash.  
  
Ash: Dunno, if your pokemon was a Magikarp I could possibly win...  
Misty: And that chances of that are.  
Ash: Less then zero I think.  
  
"Oh yeah? I'm twice the trainer Gary is!" Ash cried.  
  
Misty: Not from this angle, but you have been putting on some weight....  
  
"Pika-pi..." Pikachu gently cried to Ash.  
  
Pikachu: Or Don't be so stupid for those who care.  
  
"It's all right Pikachu, I know what I am doing." Ash replied to his pokemon.  
  
Misty: That will be a first.  
  
"To make it fair I will even let you use two pokemon to my single pokemon, you may even  
borrow one of Master Brock's or one of the fair Lady Misty's pokemon." said Fee with  
a smug tone in his voice.  
  
Brock: Here, have Onix, if you battle in the house he'll crush everyone and it'll be over real quick.  
Misty: I've noticed nothing happens "real quick" around here.  
  
"Hey Fee, don't get to over confidant." Meowth warned, "That's how we normally lose."  
"Trust me Master Meowth, I do know what I am doing here sir." Fee concluded.  
  
Ash: Yeah, sure you do.  
  
"Well then, You are on!" Ash announced.  
  
"NO Ash!" Misty screamed.  
"Pika!!!!" Pikachu cried.  
  
Pikachu: Or WHAT?!?!?!!!! Where those question marks come from you don't wanna know.  
Ash: You sure it wasn't "NO!!!!"  
Pikachu: Prehaps, could have been Sausages!!!! just as easily, the world will never know.  
  
"Since this is all about Pikachu I choose him but first up I'll have Butterfree." Ash announced.  
Quickly grabbing his pokeball Ash threw it towards Fee with a cry of "GO Butterfree!!"  
The cute butterfly pokemon emerged with a little shrill cry of "Free!"  
  
Brock: Then smashed through the roof and flew off into the rainstorm above....  
Misty: Needs some plot work but a good idea.  
  
Fee stood there unimpressed, he took a single pokeball from his belt and lightly threw  
  
Pikachu+Brock+Misty+Ash: Don't...  
  
it towards Ash.  
From the pokeball a small pink cat-like pokemon with a long tail appeared.  
  
Misty: Is that a pokemon or a digimon?  
Ash: OH NO! A crossover?!!  
Brock: Nah, I've read ahead, it's a pokemon allright.  
  
Ash looked puzzled and quickly grabbed Dexter, the computer Professor Oak had given him to  
identify pokemon with.  
  
Ash: Actually I use it to ....  
Misty: Ash!  
Ash: ... pick my...  
Brock: ASH!!  
Ash: Nose.  
Pikachu: Disgusting.  
  
"What is that Dexter?" Ash asked.  
  
Misty: (As a Pokedex) I dunno.  
  
Dexter flashed slightly before answering with a slightly sad tone, "New Species pokemon,   
Length 1 foot 4 inches, Weight around 9 pounds. No other information availble."   
"WHAT?!" Ash exclaimed.  
  
Misty: See, it doesn't know.  
  
Meowth laughed from his position on the table.  
  
Brock: Rather then his position in the Karma Sutra.  
  
"What... What is that?" Ash asked aloud.  
"Don't you recognise it Ash?" Misty asked.  
  
Ash: Would I ask if I recognised it?  
  
"No..." Ash replied softly.  
Misty quickly whisked out her pokemon book and turned to the very last page where a small   
sketch of something vaguly like the pokemon Butterfree was up against was drawn on the paper.  
  
Misty: For just such identification emergancies.  
  
Ash read aloud, "This very rare pokemon is said to be only a mirage by many of the experts  
in the world even Professor Oak is unsure that it exists. Pokemon number 151, Mew."  
  
"A Mew?!?!" Ash said almost fainting.  
  
Brock: No just Mew  
  
Fee nodded and smiled, "Are you ready Master Ketchum?"  
  
Ash: NO!  
  
Ash looked to Brock and Misty for inspiration.  
"It's your battle Ash." Brock said coldly, "Just make sure you don't lose your best friend  
because of it."  
  
Brock: Propehtic, yet pointless.  
  
Ash nodded.  
"Right, Butterfree Sleep Powder!!" Ash commanded.  
  
Ash: Yeah, hit Mew with Sleep Powder, as oposed to say Psybeam.  
  
"Free!!" The butterfly pokemon shrilled softly as it started to sprinkle a light blue  
  
Misty: Lampshade?  
  
glittering powder over the other pokemon.  
Fee raised an eyebrow, "Good choice Master Ketchum, good but wrong."  
  
Ash: Yeah, Butterfree, make like a tree and leave!  
  
"Mew." Fee commanded to his pokemon, "D.B."  
  
Pikachu: Dum dum DUMMMMM!  
Misty: It's a meaningless (as of yet) acronym  
Ash: You mean an Abreviated Coded Redition Of Name Yeilding Meaning?  
Brock: Yep.  
  
"Mew..." The pokemon echoed eeirly before looking directly at Butterfree and shooting a  
  
Misty: .447 Magnum with dum-dum rounds.  
  
light yellow beam of energy from it's eyes at the Butterfree.  
The Butterfree stopped sprinkle the powder on Mew and fell onto the floor sharply with a loud  
bang.  
  
Ash: Maybe it _WAS_ a gun after all.  
Brock: That's what I don't get, why doesn't Meowth carry a gun?  
Pikachu: Beacuse then he would be vaguly usefully.  
  
Ash ran up to his Butterfree only to find a hard Metapod lying there instead.  
"What happened?" Ash asked anxiously.  
  
Brock: I'd say your Butterfree became a Metapod!  
Misty: I'd say that as well actually.  
Ash: So would I.  
Pikacuh: I couldn't really argue with that.  
  
Ash flipped open Dexter for more advice.  
  
Misty: Despite the fact that "no other information in available"?  
  
"Unique attack, Devloultion Beam, this attack in theroy would devolve a pokemon to a previous  
evolution stage. It is unkown as to the duration of this effect." Dexter said aloud for Ash.  
Meowth rolled about the table with laughter.  
  
Ash: Just a little more rolling to the left, into the fire with thee foul kitty.  
  
"Butterf..." Ash caught himself and winced slightly, "Metapod, return." Ash commanded the   
sadness in his voice very clear.  
  
Ash: Almost translucently clear in fact.  
  
  
"Go Pikachu." Ash command lethargicly almost sure he had already lost his best friend.  
  
Pikachu: You really need to get out more Ash.  
Ash: Yeah...  
  
"Pika..." Pikachu cried softly as it faced up against Mew.  
  
Pikachu: Or "Come on then!"  
  
"Your move Master Ketchum." Fee announced  
  
Brock: Forgetting his full stop.  
Misty: Hey, that's the first time I noticed one of those.  
Brock: Not too bad really.  
  
"Pikachu..." Ash stammered.  
  
Ash: So it was more "ppp iii kkk aaa cccc hhh uuu"  
Brock: Prehaps, but I doubt it.  
  
"Pikachu... ... ..." Ash stalled slightly as a glimmer of an idea came to mind.  
  
Misty: Only to find Mew had already dealt a killing blow to Pikachu. Fin  
  
"Pikachu! No attack!" Ash commanded bravely.  
"PIKACH... Pika pi?! PIKA!!!" Pikachu shouted angrily at Ash.  
  
Pikachu: Or "PIKACH... What? GET REAL!!!"  
Ash: Pikach?  
Pikachu: Yeah it's the "Haha! Prepare to eat electric evil fiend!" Everyone knows that.  
Misty: Yeah everyone.  
Ash: Except me apparently.  
  
"Trust me Pikachu, no attack." Ash confirmed.  
Fee looked at Meowth anxiously.  
"Well don't just stand there, finish him off!!" Meowth cried.  
  
Misty: Yeah, FINISH HIM  
  
"Master Meowth, a word if one may be so bold..." Fee whispered quietly to Meowth something.  
"Oh." Meowth pouted.  
  
Misty: Oh.  
Brock: Oh.  
Ash: Oh.  
Pikachu: Ah!  
  
"Yes, Oh indeed Master Meowth." Fee said also pouting.  
"Well can't it do the devolve beam thing again?" Meowth asked.  
"Sadly no Master Meowth, Pikachu is the basic form. Devolve would have no effect." Fee  
noted to Meowth.  
  
Ash: Unless you include Pokemon Neo.  
  
"Well then Mew," Fee commanded. "Struggle."  
  
Misty: Heh.  
  
Mew whipped it's long tail agressivly at Pikachu but Pikachu dodged the fragile blows easily.  
"Mew." Mew said sounding as if in some pain.  
  
Brock: Didn't sound very much like pain, more boredom.  
  
"Now Pikachu! Quick Attack!!" Ash commanded.  
"Pika!" Pikachu shouted with glee as it charged into the opposing pokemon.  
  
Pikachu: Or "Mwhahahahaha!" if you want.  
  
"Mew!" Fee commanded. "...Return"  
  
Ash: I win. I win. I win.  
  
"WHAT?!" Meowth shouted angrily. "You can't!"  
  
Ash: He just did.  
  
"Sorry Master Meowth, there is no other way. Mew is too fragile to face such a powerful   
opponent." Rove admitted.  
  
Brock: Rove?  
Misty: Beats me, looks like a find and replaced messed up and didn't catch a name change.  
Ash: You think Fee was supposed to be called Rover at one stage?  
Brock: Lemme check the fanfic notes, says here.... Yes.  
  
"You stupid good for nothing human!" Meowth shouted knocking Fee on the head with his paws.  
  
Misty: As you do  
  
"What? Where am I?" Fee asked with confusion in his voice.  
  
Ash: How conveeeeeeeeeeeeeant.  
  
"Uh-oh." Meowth cried before jumping out the window and running off into the woods.  
"I won!" Ash yelled happily.  
"Won?" Fee asked.  
"Yes the pokemon battle, I just beat your Mew." Ash announced.  
Fee laughed, "I have a Mew?! What are you mad?"  
  
Ash: No.  
  
"But... We all just saw it in battle." Ash said.  
Fee handed over his pokeballs for Ash to inspect.  
"Growlithe, Gengar, Voltorb, Pidgey, Tangela and Clefairy show your stuff!" Fee announced  
  
Misty: None of those are a Mew, could this be last minute plot??  
  
as the various pokemon errupted from thier respective pokeball.  
"But..." Ash stammered.  
"I'm sorry but you think if I had a Mew I'd still be looking for my first real badge?" Fee  
asked.  
  
Brock: Must be plot.  
  
"You don't even have a badge??!" Ash cried, "What about my Butterfree?"  
Ash took the pokeball out and threw it into the air, a Metapod fell out of it.  
"You wanna Butterfree, not a problem my dad showed me this neat trick..." Fee said grabbing  
the metapod by the nose and pushing down hard upon the tail.  
"Now watch." Fee said as the carapace shell cracked slightly.  
"Free?" A shrill voice from inside the carapace enquired before Butterfree flew out.  
"That's one neat trick." Ash commented. "Hey what about the Mew that did this?"  
Fee shrugged and placed his pokeballs back on his belt, "Beats me, all I can recall is this  
crazy dream about this talking Meowth."  
Ash, Misty and Brock laughed embarrisingly, "Yeah crazy dream." Ash said messing with his  
hair nervously.  
  
Misty: Like how many folks know that Meowth can talk?  
Ash: All of them I think.  
  
  
"Oh James, Jesse..." Meowth asked loudly by the lounging figures of Jesse and James.  
"What's wrong Meowth give up alredy?" James asked.  
"Well actually, I was just wondering what colour of collar you wanted." Meowth retorted holding  
up a wiggling bag.  
  
Misty: That better not be what I think it is.  
  
"No..." James exclaimed.  
"Impossible!!" Jesse amended.  
"Tada!" Meowth announced, "Like I said. I'm top cat around here!"  
  
Ash: You said no such thing!  
  
Meowth sweated a little hoping neither Jesse nor James would look into the bag and find the  
Weedle he had put in there.  
  
Brock: He caught a Weedle??! I'm impressed.  
  
"Meow?" James asked dejectedly.  
"This could be a long week..." Jesse sighed.  
  
In the Log cabin Ash, Misty, Brock and Fee where stil wondering where the mysterious pokemon Mew had vanished to.  
  
Misty: Well it is supposed to be an illusion so um, there.  
  
"What's important Ash is that you and Pikachu are still together." Misty commented.  
  
Pikachu: Yes, hug me I'm cute.  
  
"It was close." Brock said.  
"You mean I almost won a battle against a famous pokemon trainer and I can't remeber it?!"  
Fee asked in disbelif.  
  
Misty: I'd be in disbelief as well, Ash famous?!  
  
"Almost won? You would normally have beaten the opponent without a problem." Brock replied.  
"So how did Ash win?" Fee wonderd aloud.  
  
Ash: Well I beat you into next week.  
  
"Yeah Ash, how did you know to tell Pikachu not to do anything?" Misty enquired.  
"When it used Devolve beam on Butterfree I was really worried that I would lose but then  
I remebered that when you have an attack that powerfull with a pokemon it's unlikly   
to have any other attacks except defensive ones." Ash concluded.  
  
Ash: Yes, just like Pikachu, who has 3 very powerful offensive attacks and 1 defensive attack.  
Pikachu: Defensive attack, right. Beside nothing about me is offensive...  
  
"Wow." was all Misty could manage to say.  
  
Misty: Wow.  
  
"Hey guys, it's stopped raining." Brock announced looking outside the smashed window.  
  
Ash: Oh yeah, that's why we came in here.  
  
"I'll have to be on my way to Veridan city to earn my first badge." Fee said shaking Ash  
by the hand.  
  
Misty: To the Marsh gym to face Giovanni??! Good luck mate.  
  
"One day, I will be as good a trainer as you are and be able to understand my pokemon just like  
you do." Fee announced proudly.  
"Gee thanks." Ash blushed bright red.  
"Pika pi!" Pikachu giggled.  
  
Pikachu: That' s just too cute to translate, trust me.  
  
  
James ripped the blue collar off from around his neck and threw it at Meowth, "Try and trick  
me?!" he screamed lividly at the cat.  
  
Brock: Of course I did, think I'm stupid?!  
  
"Meowth..." gulped Meowth baking off from James and into Jesse.  
Jesse picked up Meowth and scratched behind his ear.  
"Now now James, you must not be too hasty. After all he has learned from the best." Jesse  
crooned slightly trying to calm James.  
"I suppose you are right Jesse." James sighed.  
Jesse handed the scratch cat to James.  
"He's all yours." She said grinning widly.  
"Hey!!" Meowth screached trying to claw at James's face only to find James had a hold of his  
paws.  
"Oh... Meowth." Meowth purred unhappily.  
  
Ash: HA-HA!  
  
  
Fee waved as Ash, Misty and Brock disappered over the horizon towards Pallet Town.  
"It's safe to come out now." He called up the chimney.  
  
Misty: Hey Chimney!! It's allright to be homosexual now!  
  
A small soot black cat like pokemon fell out of the chimney and landed on the floor with a thud.  
  
Brock: Shocking, plot.  
  
"Bit close that one, huh."  
"Mew. Mew Mew." The pokemon replied.  
"Hey, I proved he was still not ready to join, friend's don't abandon friends. No matter what  
the cost." Fee said brushing some of the soot of Mew's nose.  
  
Pikachu: Sweet.  
Ash: Sweat?  
Pikachu: Not quite.  
  
"Better put these pokeballs back exactly where you found them now, make it look like nothing  
happned here." Fee smiled cleaning up more soot.  
  
Brock: Yeah, right that'll work.  
  
"Mew...." The pokemon purred softly.  
"Yes I know about the window." Fee sighed.  
"Mew..." The pokemon whined slightly.  
"And the soot." Fee giggled. "Let's go, give that kid some time. He'll be perfect to join  
all he needs is to feel like he's beaten his oldest rival and he should be fine."  
"Mew?" The pokemon asked quizically.  
"Oh, yes thank you for reminding me. Yes I'm sure Team Rocket where glad to help." Fee  
laughed. "Remind me to drop a little extra something into thier next pay cheques."  
  
Misty: Of course they helped so much, staying in a hotel for the whole thing.  
Ash: I'd say that's helping....  
  
"Mew." The pokemon confirmed.  
"Great, let's go home." Fee said picking up Mew and sitting him cautiously on his shoulder.  
  
All: YAH!!  
  
================================================================================================  
  
This is not the end of the story it is merely a place for you the reader to close the book  
and enjoy the story for what it was. The story goes on even if the book does not.  
  
Brock: I do not like the sound of this....  
  
  
  
Well that and I'm going to write a sequel to this thing. (If you are really bad and don't  
eat all your veggables I'll even write a series.)  
  
Ash: ACK!  
Misty: Just please shoot me now.  
Pikachu: No me first!!  
  
  
/=====================================\/==============\/======================================\  
| 04:10 ||Master Meowth|| 29th March 2000 |  
\=====================================/\==============/\======================================/  
  
Brock: 0410??! 4am in the morning?!  
  
  
Dedicated to Dante, who should probably know better and discourage one from writing.  
  
Ash: Dante, we are going to hunt you down with big guns for not doing so.  
Misty: Yeah!  
  
  
Special thanks to:  
  
Miles - For the hugs and making me (s)Miles  
  
Pikachu: Cute.  
  
  
Nicky Rea - Sure you wanna talk about C:TD 3rd Ed?  
  
Ash: Say no!  
  
  
Toast - For just being the number 7 *hug*  
  
Pikachu: I am not a number.  
Misty: Yes you are, you are number 25.  
Pikachu: Oh yeah.  
  
  
All on #Toonplay, #Warnercafe and #Watertower - Find out why on irc.wtnet.com   
  
Brock: Let's not and say we did.  
  
  
Everyone in the West Corner of the Park  
  
Everyone: Hi there!  
Misty: Hi Everyone!  
  
  
The KGB - Ego Goblinate Rexus.  
  
Ash: I am the Goblin King  
Brock: I thought that was David Bowie's job.  
  
  
Acmemouse, OkkayWeener, NakkoSqrl, rhia, Mintaka, Davidmouse, Taperlass, P3, Chilly,  
Tony_Fox and NeuCoyote as well as anyone else from #Toonplay (*evilme* for forgetting)  
just for being cool and such.  
  
Misty: Yeah and stuff.  
  
Oh and Glis, but only because he worships the Monkey.  
  
Brock: Right...  
  
Ash: Hey, it's over...  
  
...o...2...3...4...5...6...PIKA!  
  
Misty: Are we still here?  
  
Brock: I don't know where has the sun gone?  
  
Ash: There is no sun, we have died and this is hell.  
  
Brock: Thanks for clarifying.  
  
Togepi: Togepriiii!!  
  
Pikachu: Psst, you can knock that off now.  
  
Togepi: Thanks, it really hurts my vocal cords that...  
  
Jessie: Back so soon?  
  
Ash: No, we are not here, this is Memorex.  
  
James: Sure it is.  
  
Ash: No, we are not here, this is Memorex.  
  
Jessie: Quite convincing, even getting the tape loop in there...  
  
Ash: No we are not here, this is Memorex.  
  
James: Oh...  
  
Jessie: They've escaped!!  
  
Meowth: Never mind, the furthest they can go is the kitchen.  
  
James: Oooh, I just love this mindless torture!  
  
[Television clicks off]  
  
Ash: No we are here.  
  
Misty: I can't believe they fell for that.  
  
Ash: Maybe worth a try next time.  
  
Brock: Next time....  
  
Misty: Doesn't anyone have a gun??  
  
[Fade out]  
========================================================================  
Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000 - MST of Master Meowth by Runt (webmaster@microharf.cx) based on the fanfic "Master Meowth" by the same authour (Hey! Self parody and MSTing)  
  
Love Theme from MPT3K adapted from MWT3K by Petrea Mitchell  
  
Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright Best Brains, Inc.   
Pikachu, Brock, Ash, Misty and Togepi are all (C) and TM of Nintendo inc.  
No infringment to either of these great companies and their even greater products is intended, it's a work purely for entertainment purposes, nobody makes any money out of this work and everyone should be happy.  
  
If you'd like to MSTify some deserving piece, please join the MSTing dibs list by mailing mneylon@engin.umich.edu with a subject of "DIBS-SUB".  
========================================================================  
"Oh yeah? I'm twice the trainer Gary is!" 


End file.
